Today, I am thankful for those who remind us to respect our opponents, especially in the midst of their defeat.
Kicking a person when they are demoralized, devastated, or disheartened by a loss accomplishes nothing. As I’ve communicated in the past, I will wholeheartedly enjoy a touchdown celebration. I have no moral objection and hold no ill will for an opposing team celebrating a score on my beloved Eagles, provided they heed to one small stipulation: Never ever gloat or taunt your opponent when you’ve crossed the end zone, capitalized on a turnover, or won the game. In fact, one of the earnest rituals I love about football is that after each game, the players gather at the middle of the field to genuinely shake hands and exchange pleasantries.
Civility plays a crucial role in our daily lives, and we should approach each victory with unpretentious humility and demure respect. Speaking of civility, I am reminded of a simple act of mutual respect and unassuming leadership that accompanied the end of the United States Civil War in 1865. For nearly 4 years, the divided Northern and Southern factions within our nation fought a brutal, costly war against itself. More Americans died during the American Civil War then all the other conflicts and wars the United States has participated in, combined. In fact, on the order of 750,000 Americans lost their lives in the bloody skirmishes that characterized this most solemn time of American history.
By the early spring of 1865, the Northern Union states had begun to gain a foothold on the Southern Confederate states. After the highest general in the Confederate Army, Robert E. Lee, had retreated from the Richmond capital, his devastated regimen of nearly 28,000 troops, exhausted, destitute of supplies, and nearing starvation, was surrounded by the Union troops, led by General Ulysses S. Grant. In an effort to avoid further ‘useless effusion of blood’, Lee and Grant sent a series of letters to each other over a two-day period, wherein they discussed the surrender of the Confederate Army without the need for further bloodshed. On this day (Apr 9), the two opposing generals met in the parlor of the home of Wilmer McLean at 1 PM in the town of Appomattox Court House.
After a brief exchange of pleasantries recounting the time they served side by side in the Mexican War, Grant asked Lee to write out his stipulations of surrender. The terms were simple. All Confederate soldiers were to be immediately pardoned, provided they agreed to not take up further arms against the United States. All soldiers were allowed to keep their horses, so they could be of avail for the impending spring planting. All men were allowed to keep their personal side arms and swords. Finally, the Union would provide food and rations to the Confederate soldiers. Upon agreement of these short terms, Lee and Grant shook hands, bowed, and saluted each other. The war was effectively over.
As Lee boarded his horse, respectfully waved, and gradually rode off into the distance, the Union soldiers began to holler and celebrate in exuberant delight. However, Grant immediately shushed them all, reminding them in a solemn tone that all the soldiers on both sides were now fellow Americans.
Today, I’m grateful for those who remind us that we should never kick a colleague, a friend, or even a perceived enemy when they are defeated. Always, always take the higher ground.
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