Today, I am thankful for those who speak to us directly with radical candor.
We have come upon the Ides of March (Mar 15), that fateful day in 44 BC when the Roman emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated in the Roman Senate. Having been betrayed by his friends and colleagues, Caesar was most saddened to see his long time friend, the Senator Marcus Junius Brutus, wielding a sharp knife at his back. The attack was so intense, so vicious, and, well, so brutal, that many of those who conspired in the murder actually stabbed each other. Henceforth, this day has been associated with the unexpected backstabbing, dishonesty, and mistrust, mostly by the ones closest to you.
Perhaps if Brutus was having issues with Caesar’s dictatorial rule, he could have embarked on a frank tête-à-tête with the Emperor, who incidentally admired and respected his senatorial colleague. Brutus could have probably also learned a lesson of integrity and straightforwardness from the ancient Greek philosophers. Sophists like Socrates, Plato, and Antisthenes spoke openly about honesty, but perhaps the most candid philosopher of the time, Diogenes the Cynic, would have given Brutus a lesson on how to speak one’s mind in a candid, forthright manner. Diogenes had no qualms criticizing his fellow philosophers in Athens. In fact, he routinely criticized his contemporary Plato, even going so far as to sabotage his lecture sessions by speaking out of turn and loudly chewing his food just to rile the founder of the Academy. He was said to seek integrity to such a degree that he would walk the streets of Athens in the middle of the day carrying a lamp so the light might lead him more clearly to a truly honest man. So direct was he in his communication that when the great ruler, Alexander the Great, gleefully came upon him in Corinth, Diogenes even found a way to candidly speak to the leader. After Diogenes was asked by Alexander is there was any favor the auspicious ruler could do for him, the philosopher responded: “Yes, stand out of my sunlight.” Laughing, Alexander responded: “If I were not Alexander, then I should wish to be Diogenes.” To which the philosopher retorted: “If I were not Diogenes, I would still wish to be Diogenes.”
How ironic that on this same day in 2017, Kim Scoot released her bestseller, Radical Candor. The book espouses to the virtues of radical candor, as opposed to obnoxious aggression, ruinous empathy, and manipulative insincerity.
On this most ‘brutal’ day of dishonesty, my advice to you is simple: Be kind and respectful when delivering constructive feedback. It is better to do so directly than, well, you know, behind someone’s back.
Comments