Today, I am thankful for those situations that remind me that friendship can blossom, even when folks don’t see eye to eye on every issue.
In today’s world, the luxury of instantaneous news feeds and the easy access to social media posts on our electronic devices have allowed us to remain constantly in touch with our evolving world. Moreover, these tools provide us a means to create or maintain links with millions across the globe, including family, friends, and strangers. Unfortunately, the downstream effect of this interconnectivity is the inevitable judgment that arises when opinions differ. In a world full of social trolling, now more than ever, we must maintain a sense of mutual respect and inquisitive appreciation of diversity. We are not all alike, and, as such, we should not judge, demean, or feel threatened by those whose viewpoints do not marry up with our own.
Let me tell you a story surrounding a topic about which I readily admit I know nothing – classical music. I am not an aficionado of classic music, and I can discern little between the symphonies, concertos, and operas of the great composers in history. My only true encounter with classic music was when I was a camp counselor; one of my roles was to play a cassette tape each morning, at 7 AM, bellowing the sounds of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. You all know this dramatic melody, and, if not, you might want to back to the theme song to The Bad News Bears.
All kidding aside, Piotr Tchaikovsky was musical genius and an icon of Russian musical compositions. In his relatively short 53-year career, he composed 169 different musical ensembles, including his famous First Symphony, his Piano Concerto #1 in B-flat Minor, and his numerous ballets – the unforgettable Swan Lake, the dramatic Sleeping Beauty, and the irreplaceable Nutcracker. Amazingly, as a child born on this day (May 7) in 1840, he received little musical training. Only after he was 21 did he receive formal training in St. Petersburg, where he rose gradually in stature with his romantic, emotional, and care-free masterpieces – cannons included! Yet, in his lifetime, he was not widely regarded for his musical genius in the same way German and Austrian musicians were heralded. Somewhat envious, he grew extremely angry and vindictive of his Germanic contemporaries, such as Robert Schumann and his protégé, Johannes Brahms.
In fact, Tchaikovsky hated the trite repertoire and the unemotional, ‘sobering’ music that Brahms, his elder of 7 years, was producing. The only thing Tchaikovsky shared with Brahms was a birthday, who was also born on May 7. Otherwise, in his eyes, Brahms was nothing more than a ‘giftless bastard’ of ‘conceited mediocrity’ and a scoundrel ‘devoid of creative inspiration.’ In fact, they avoided one another for nearly a decade during the height of their careers until an accidental small social gathering in Leipzig, Germany. Tchaikovsky showed up for what he thought would be a quiet Christmas dinner in Saxony with a violinist friend. Much to his dismay, he found Brahms seated at the piano practicing a concerto. After what I gather was a hearty eyeroll, Tchaikovsky sat quietly and respectfully listened to the performance. Afterwards, the two were seated next to each other at dinner.
That’s when something amazing happened. They got along famously, enjoying each other’s company over some social revelry. They downed drinks, shared jokes, and recalled childhood stories. As Tchaikovsky would put it, he found the unkempt German to be ‘free from vanity, his humor jovial, and… [leaving] a very agreeable recollection.’ Over the next month, the duo attended each other’s performances, shared meals, and even provided feedback to one another on their compositions.
Nevertheless, they never really grew to like each other’s music. Yet, they developed a mutual respect for one another. A friendship bloomed despite their philosophical differences.
On this day when we celebrate the birthday of these 2 musically-talented virtuosos, perhaps we can all learn a simple lesson: Friendship does not require we agree on all points. Just because we disagree, we do not need to be disagreeable.
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