Today, I’m thankful for those who afford us ‘just a little’ respect.
If there is one thing I’ve learned early in my life, it’s that we must always be thoughtful and courteous to those who’ve lived on this Earth longer than us. At an early age, my parents introduced me to the concept of ‘filial piety’ – the precept that our elders and ancestors deserve our endearing respect. Thus, in my Greek family, I was expected to hold my grandparents, uncles, aunts, and, of course, my parents in highest regard for all they’ve sacrificed in their lives on my behalf. If I was failing to exhibit my best behavior whenever my Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Sylvia, or my Yia Yia (grandmother) were visiting our home, I would surely hear about it from my parents long after they were gone. As someone who also grew up in the South, I also quickly recognized that this tradition is not just limited to the Greeks. In elementary school, I learned to address my adult acquaintances by their formal names, such as “Mr. Johnson’ or ‘Miss Brewster.’ Any responses to their inquiries were expected to be followed by a ‘Sir’ or ‘Maam.’ But, filial piety is not a new concept – it can be traced to the teachings of the renowned Chinese philosopher Confucius, who held that a strong society was founded on the principles of kindness, sincerity, and loyalty to our community elders. Clearly, this principle found its way westward and eventually became a staple of many modern religions, including Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, and Christianity. In fact, the Golden Rule espoused by Jesus Christ is really a simple lesson in the precept of respect: “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
So, we are taught at any early age to render respect to all around us. In schools, we are instructed to honor and obey our wise teachers. On the playing field, we are taught by coaches to display ‘good sportsmanship’ to our opponents, whether in victory or defeat. And, in the workplace, we are indoctrinated to demonstrate professionalism and show deference to all our corporate colleagues. In a high functioning society, the civility and courtesy we afford to others are acknowledgments that every human has earned at least some modicum of our respect.
In the world of entertainment, no one taught us this principle better than the American soul singer, Aretha Louise Franklin. In 1967, Miss Franklin released a song that became the signature hit of her career. In the ever-popular ditty, ‘Respect’, she reminds her man that she not only deserves his admiration but even demands his esteem for the person she is. And, just in case he forgets what’s she’s referring to, she spells it out for him in no uncertain terms: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. She released this hit song on Valentine’s Day, perhaps as a fitting reminder to all men that women deserve, if not demand, their love and esteem. We all know and love this iconic dirty. In fact, in a recent Rolling Stone magazine list of the ‘The 500 Greatest Songs of All Times’, Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’ is ranked fifth all time. Yet, the funny irony about this classic is that Aretha didn’t even write it. In fact, the man you wrote the song – Otis Redding – seems to get no respect for conceiving this amazing hit. Several years before Aretha would release a cover of ‘Respect’, Otis Redding would record the song on his third album, Otis Blue. The original anthem pleaded for the respect of Otis’ girl, for whom he toiled endless hours to bring home money to support. Although he would gain some recognition for this song, it really was Aretha’s version that became the battling cry for the oppressed and underappreciated. Perhaps it was because Aretha modified the lyrics ‘just a little bit’, essentially mandating that she be afforded what she had rightfully earned. Her addition of the word spelling of Respect and the ‘Sock It To Me’ refrain also set a more demanding tone. Although Redding is less remembered for his original version and became somewhat jealous of Aretha’s success with his own personal creation, he earned the public’s esteem on this day (Nov 22) in 1967 when he released what became his own signature hit, ‘(Sitting on) the Dock of the Bay.’ Sadly, Otis would die later that same year at the tender age of 26, when his plane crashed into Lake Monoma in Wisconsin.
The truth is that both Aretha and Otis deserve our mutual respect. So does another famous entertainer who celebrates a birthday today. Born on this day (Nov 22) in 1921, Jacob Cohen never really garnered the respect he deserved as a comedian until the sixth decade of his life. At an early age, he often had to fend for himself, as his father had abandoned him, along with his mother and his one sibling, soon after he was born. He worked odd jobs at an early age just to help the family unit make ends meet. Even worse, his openly Jewish beliefs drew the torment and bullying of many classmates throughout his childhood. Jacob coped with this abuse by becoming the ‘funny man’ among his friends, sharing jokes and other funny anecdotes to keep them all entertained. Not surprisingly, he became an actor and stand-up comedian early in his career, choosing to change his name to ‘Jack Roy’ to hide his Jewish heritage. Yet, his early performances did not garner him the respect he deserved. Finally, after nearly 13 years on the stage performing in smoky bars and back-alley clubs throughout New York, he called it quits at the age of 31. He turned to selling aluminum siding to provide for his own growing family.
But, Jacob Cohen could never really escape the ‘draw’ of the stage.
So, throughout the 1960s, while in his forties, he found himself burning the candle at both ends, toiling as a salesman during the day and performing in comedy clubs at night. Fearing further rejection, he turned to a new stage name – Rodney Dangerfield – one he stole from a Jack Benny joke. He also turned to a new stage theme – the inherent lack of respect in his life. Finally, at the age of 51, Cohen got his break when he appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show. His ‘No Respect’ jig, with its pithy one-liners about how ‘it’s not easy being me’, were a huge hit with all the audiences, perhaps because his listeners all felt a similar twinge of disregard and underappreciation. Before you knew it, Rodney Dangerfield became a regular on many television shows, including The Dean Martin Show and The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. His acting performance as the braggadocious, gawdy tycoon (Al Czervik) on Caddyshack only added to his legendary appeal. To this day, I’m still searching for a golf bag reminiscent of the one Al Czervik possessed at the Bushwood Country Club, equipped with a high-tech sound system and a readily-accessible beer tap.
Yet, what most people don’t know about Jacob Cohen is that he paid it forward to a cadre of comedians that would follow in his footsteps. Soon after he garnered his fame, he opened up a comedy club in New York City, called Dangerfield’s in Manhattan, where a slew of unknown comedians would finally get their own break. Thanks to this incredible humanitarian, young stars like Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Sam Kinison, and Rosanne Barr would be introduced to late-night talk show gurus and Hollywood producers. Sadly, the magnificent Jacob Cohen passed away in 2004, after many years of deteriorating cardiovascular health.
So, in closing, I’m here today to raise a ‘cold one’ (courtesy of Al Czervik) to those who remind us that we all deserve our share of appreciation. Thanks to a trio of stars – Aretha Franklin, Otis Redding, and, of course, Rodney Dangerfield – we can all ‘stand up’ and demand the respect that we’ve undoubtedly earned.
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